


It's OK; He Has A Really Big Stash!

by KalaLouise



Category: Angus Thongs & Full Frontal Snogging, Confessions of Georgia Nicolson
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-01-07 14:11:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalaLouise/pseuds/KalaLouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Following on from 'Are these my basoomas I see before me' by Louise Rennison.) - Georgia and Dave have finally become a couple, and hilarity ensues as they make the transition from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend.  Lots of Georgia/Dave fluff, and smut later. (Rated M for later chapters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

_The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson books and all characters are copyright to Louise Rennison. I own nothing._

______________________________________________

 

**October 14 th, 11pm**

I have just become the boyfriend…Er, I mean girlfriend, of Dave the Laugh.

The Italian Stallion is sodding off to London with the Stiff Dylans, and has dumped me in the process.

But I feel relieved.

It’s like Jas said after the play: “Well…He always made you a bit nervous, didn’t he?” And she was right. I hate that.

And then Dave the L spoke to me and we kissed. Again. Then I asked him to be my girlfriend…

And he said: “Go on then, Sex Kitty, I’ll be your girlfriend. It’ll probably all end in tears. Mine. But… I am Dave the Biscuit. I will survive. Give us a snog and possibly a _rummachen unterhalb der Taille._ Go on, you know you want to.”

And I did, and we did…And I have been Miss Jelloid Knickers ever since.

He really is very good at lip nibbling.

“Are you alright Georgia? You’re unnaturally quiet.” Vati asked as I sat on the sofa.

I don’t know why I said it, but… “Masimo has buggered off to London with the Stiff Dylans and left me on the rack of love, but five minutes later, I became the girlfriend of a Hornmeister.”

Dad blinked at me. “What in the name of arse is a Hornmeister?”

Mutti, unfortunately, understood. “Ooh! You’re going out with Dave the Laugh?” And then she hugged me.

I didn’t feel comfortable having her nungas thrust in my face, so I gently peeled her off.

“Oh Gee! I knew you liked him…He’s gorgey isn’t he!” She said excitedly.

I blushed.

“Can someone please tell me who Dave the Laugh is?” Dad asked, frustrated.

At that moment, the phone rang and he answered.

“Hello? Yes, she is here…It’s a little late to be calling though. Oh, I see, she was just talking about you. One moment.” Vati handed me the phone. “It’s Dave the Laugh.”

I took the phone and looked at him.

And he looked at me. Like a looking thing.

And then Mutti joined in.

I couldn’t talk to Dave the Laugh while they were staring at me expectantly.

I took the phone up to my room.

..

 

**1 minute later**

“Hello?”

“Took your time, Kittykat! So, you were talking about me were you? I hope it was bad!”

I grinned.

“So what can I do for you, Dave?” I asked in a dignosity-at-all-times manner.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind a number 9 on the snogging scale, if you’re offering.” He said.

“How do you know about the snogging scale?” I asked.

Dave just laughed. “I just called to say goodnight.” He said softly.

“You’ve never called to say goodnight before.” I pointed out.

I heard shifting on the other end of the phone and Dave lowered his voice. “Yeah, but now I’m your girlfriend, I have to make the effort to keep you.”

I smiled to myself. “Um Dave, you know when I said ‘do you want to be my girlfriend?’, I didn’t…I meant…Well you’re a boy.”

Dave laughed again.

He has the loveliest laugh.

“Well that explains a lot.” He said. “So can I be the boyfriend?”

I nodded, and then remembered that he couldn’t see me.

“Yes, uh, yeah…You can…I mean…Yes.”

God, I was dithering more than Ellen!

Even Dave said that.

“You’re dithering more than Ellen.”

“Sorry.” I said quietly.

“It’s OK. I have that effect on girls.” He said, and I laughed.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” He asked.

“No,”

“Good. Fancy coming over my house tomorrow? We can sit in my room and snog while my parents are out.”

My mouth went dry.

I’d only ever been in one boy’s bedroom – Peter Dyer, AKA Whelk Boy. And that was not a memory I wanted to relive.

But this was different.

This was a _boyfriend’s_ house.

What if he wanted to do hanky panky?

“I promise, it’s just snogging.” He said after I didn’t reply for a few seconds. “I know how much you want to get me out of my pants, you cheeky minx, but I’d like to take things slowly.”

Oooh he is so annoying!

Despite trying to be serious, I found myself laughing again.

“So is that a yes?”

“Yeah, okay. What time?” I asked.

“Meet me at the end of your road at 12?” Dave suggested.

“It’s a date!” I said, and almost kicked myself for being too forward.

Luckily, Dave laughed his lovely, melty laugh again. “You’re keen. I’ll see you then.”

“Yes, see you then…”

There was silence for a few seconds.

Neither of us hung up.

“Georgia?”

“Yes?”

“Are you still there?”

“No.”

“Then who am I speaking to?”

“Um…”

Then Dave said something, but I barely heard it.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“Nothing. See you tomorrow, Sex Kitty.” And he sort of blew kisses before hanging up the phone.

..

 

**Two minutes later**

I’d just climbed into bed, when I heard Mutti knocking on my door.

“Georgia?”

I pretended to be asleep, but she came Mumming in anyway.

“Georgia?”

I pretended to yawn. “I was asleep, actually.”

But she ignored me and sat on my bed.

“So…? What did Dave say?” She asked.

Why was she so interested?

I just shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh, you know.”

I could feel her eyes boring into me expectantly.

And then I told her.

“I am going over to his house tomorrow.”

Mutti squealed.

“This is so exciting! Now, Georgia, remember…If you two get to number 10, remember to be safe; use protection.”

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas, My mother was giving me ‘the talk’!

“Mother, I need my beauty sleep. It has been a long day, so in the nicest way possible, get out.” I said.

But she kept rambling on.

“Dave is sooo dishy though, isn’t he? He’s liked you for ages! I’m so glad you two finally got together. I know he’s a good boy, but still, if you need any…you know, ‘protection’, just ask. I’ve got some in the bedroom.”

My ears!

My mother had practically just admitted to getting to number 10!

I felt sick.

Out of sheer desperadoes, I said the first thing I could think of.

“It’s OK; he has a really big stash.”

Mutti blinked at me and reddened.

“Yes. Well…Er good.” She stood up and walked out of my room without another word, and closed the door.

 

 


	2. 2

**Saturday, October 15 th**

**9:30am**

Up at the crack of 9:30.

Why do I feel so jolly?

I wandered over to my window and opened it, looking down into the street.

Mr Across The Road was out in his tiny bathrobe again, watering the flowers.

Erlack! I hope he doesn’t bend over…

The birds were singing, and the sun was shining, and the wind was blowing, and-

“Close that sodding window, you’re letting the cold air in!”

Vati had broken into my room and was shouting at me from the doorway.

I closed the window and smiled. I was in too good a mood to care.

“Oh, hello Vati. Please come in.”

“Don’t be so bloody cheeky!” He said, “We’re off out to Uncle Eddie’s. Don’t know when we’ll be back, so you’ll have to feed yourself.”

Fat chance of that, I thought, but I didn’t say so.

“Perhaps if I had some money to buy some food, then…”

Vati sighed and rummaged in his pocket, bringing out a fiver.

“There. See you later.” He said.

In a moment of bonkerosity, I hugged him. “Thank you.”

Dad spluttered and straightened his woolly sweater, which was a little on the tight side, if you ask me.

He gingerly patted my head and left my room.

I heard him say to Mum “I think she’s ill.”

Charming.

 

**9:35am**

Now I only have two hours and twenty-five minutes to get ready to see the Hornmeister.

I must hurry.

 

**Four minutes later…**

I have decided to multi-task.

Have applied face mask whilst in the bath. Mmm…

Nice and relaxing.

Checked all over for signs of the orang-utan gene, but thankfully, I was smoothy smooth.

I had just leaned my head back against Mutti’s bath pillow, when Angus jumped in the bath with me.

“Jesus Christ in a handbasket!” I exclaimed.

Angus just looked at me and miaowed.

“Out!” I ordered.

But he didn’t listen.

I picked him up and he spat at me, so I held him at arm’s length and plonked him outside the door, locking myself in.

I could hear him miaowing pitifully from outside and scratching the door.

I ignored him and concentrated on washing my hair.

 

**Ten minutes later…**

All clean, face mask removed, cleansed and toned, now for makeup.

Walked into my room in a towel.

I decided, because it’s Dave the Laugh, and he has seen me at my worst, that I’d go for the natural look.

(i.e. Foundation, concealer, powder, blusher, eight coats of mascara, eyeliner and just a slick of lippy.)

 

**Fifteen minutes later…**

What should I do with my hair?

 

**Ten minutes later…**

Borrowed Mum’s straightening irons and tamed my hair into straighty-straightness.

Added a little shine spray for maximum dazzlenosity.

Now onto clothes…

Skirt or skinny jeans?

Tight black t-shirt or lacy tank top?

Why did I care? It’s Dave the Laugh.

He’s seen me in massive pyjamas before!

I chose skinny jeans with the lacy tank top and left it at that.

 

**11:50am**

I’m on the edge of a nervy b.

Whyyyy am I so nervous?

I was just about to put on my leather jacket when the doorbell rang.

Honestly, how am I supposed to get ready when people insist on distracting me?

I ran downstairs and opened the front door.

“Hello Sex Kitty.”

It was Dave the Laugh!

He looked really marvy in his black jeans, his black shirt and leather jacket.

His hair was effortlessly cool as usual, and he was smiling his lovely smile again.

I definitely had a case of jelloid knickers!

I opened my mouth to speak, but no noise came out.

Marvellous.

I had turned into a Ditherqueen.

I opened the door a little wider to let Dave in.

“My parents are out.” I blurted out.

Dave just nodded. “I came to pick you up.”

“We could just stay here.” I said. “Like I said, the Swiss Family Mad are out for the day with the Baldygram, so it’s just me, Angus and Gordy.”

“OK.” Dave agreed, closing the door behind him and following me through to the front room. “Where is my furry kitty pal?”

Right on cue, Angus waltzed in and jumped on the arm of the sofa, headbutting Dave’s leg.

“Hello trouble.” He said, “And hello to you too, Angus.”

I laughed and sat down, with Dave sitting beside me.

“What would you like to do?” I asked. “There isn’t really much to do here, unless you like to watch paint dry.”

Dave said nothing, but pressed his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

We did a bit of 4 and 5, and then Dave threw in a bit of number 6, finished off with lip nibbling.

He pressed his forehead to mine and looked into my eyes.

Melty melty.

He really does have lovely eyes…Blue and shiny, with sort of long lashes.

I looked into them in what I hoped was a longing way.

I saw him lick his lips again and he brought his hand up to my cheek.

“Gee, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time…” He said softly. “I…”

Then the phone rang.

Typico.

“I’m sorry.” I said, reaching for the phone. “Hello, you’ve reached Snogging Headquarters.”

“Georgia, it’s me.” Jas said down the phone.

“Hello Jas, I’m actually a little busy at the moment…”

“How did it go last night with Dave?” She asked.

I looked to where Dave was sitting on the sofa, looking at me.

I lowered my voice. “Nhe’s Nhere Now.”

“What?”

“Nhe’s Nhere Now!”

“Georgia, I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

I sighed.

She really is dim sometimes.

“I said he’s…”

“She said I’m here now.” Dave said, picking up the kitchen extension. “Oh, hi Jas!”

 

**Three minutes later…**

After about a million years of explaining to Jas what happened, she finally went off with Tom, probably to catch great crusted newts or whatever.

Dave and I got right back to number 6, and then the most bizarre thing happened…

He gently rested his hand on my basooma. _Under_ my top!

I had just got to number 8 with Dave the Laugh.

I wondered if I should return the gesture, but of course, Dave has no basoomas.

Do I touch his nipples?! What do I do?

In a moment of desperation and ditherspazzery, I grabbed the next thing I could think of.

Dave stopped kissing and looked at me.

“Steady on, you cheeky fraulein. I haven’t grabbed _your_ derrière yet!”  

 

**One minute later…**

What number would bum-grabbing be on the snogging scale?

 

**One minute later…**

I said to Dave “what number would bum-grabbing be on the snogging scale?”

He blinked at me.

“Wouldn’t it count as number 9?”

“Well, I know it’s below the waist, but I mean…It’s not…”

“Let’s call it 9 and a half.” Dave suggested. “Only another half to go.”

I looked at him.

“I’m sorry Georgia.” He said. “I didn’t mean it like…You know I’d never pressure you.”

I nodded. “Mutti gave me ‘the talk’ earlier.” I admitted.

Dave raised his eyebrows. “Scheissenhausen.”

“I know. And then she practically exposed me to oldyporn by telling me about hers and Vati’s ‘protection’ in the bedroom, should I ever need it.”

Dave just laughed.

“I told her you had a big stash.”

“Oo er!”

 

**1:00pm**

After about a million years of snogging, Dave and I finally decided to go and get something for lunch.

I rummaged through the fridge and cupboards first, only to find a can of tomatoes and mouldy bread, so we headed off to the Co-op.

As we walked down the path, Dave held my hand and gave it a squeeze, smiling at me.

I smiled back and continued walking.

We spotted Mark Big Gob and his stupid mates at the end of the road.

He took one look at Dave and lowered his head.

“Alright Georgia?” He said quietly.

I nodded to him in what I thought was a cool way and he and his mates buggered off.

As we walked to the shops hand in hand, I could see people looking at us.

I felt quite pleased and started grinning to myself.

At that moment, we spotted Ellen and Declan up ahead.

Ellen spotted us and stared in shock.

“Alright Ellen?” Dave greeted.

Ellen just looked at him.

“Hi Georgia.” She greeted. “Are you…I mean…Is Dave...You were holding hands…Or something. I mean…Are you?”

“I’d love to stay and chat but I am actually quite hungry.” Dave said, before darting into the shop.

Declan followed him and they greeted each other in that weird slapping way that boys do.

I realised I hadn’t answered Ellen yet.

“Georgia?” She pressed.

“Sorry, what?”

“You and Dave. Are you like…Or something…Er…”

Oh God, Ellen was having her usual ditherama. 

I answered quickly.

“Yes Ellen. Dave and I are girlfriends. I mean boyfriends…I mean…You know.”

Ellen nodded like a nodding thing.

“Cool. That’s cool. I mean…Er cool. Or something…I don’t…”

She blinked and Declan came out of the shop with a bag, pulling out a box of Cadbury’s Roses, and giving them to Ellen.

She thanked him and gave him a kiss, but wouldn’t look at me.

“I’ll see you on Monday.” She said, and she didn’t dither.

Ellen and Declan walked away, and I watched them, feeling bad.

“Are you coming in this decade, Kittykat?” Dave said from the doorway.

I didn’t answer.

“Are you alright?” He frowned.

“I’m fine.” I nodded, following him in.

For some reason, I felt guilty.

 

 

 

 


	3. 3

1:30 pm  
Sitting in Dave’s room.  
His parents had sodded off out too, so it was just us.  
They left him a note saying they’d be back at 8 and that they’d left some snacks in the fridge and cupboards.  
Proper parenting.  
We were munching our way through a tube of Pringles, and I still couldn’t shake the guilty feeling I had.  
“Gee?”  
I looked up. “Hmm?”  
“I said you seem a bit quiet, are you okay?” Dave asked.  
“Oh…Well I er…”   
“What is it Kittykat?” He asked softly, looking me in the eyes.  
“When we were at the shop, Ellen asked me if we were…you know…or something.” I said.  
“Oh no.”  
“Oh yes.”  
“Did you tell her?” Dave asked.  
“Yeah.” I nodded. “And now I feel guilty. She seemed a bit…off?”  
Dave grimaced. “Ouch. Well she is my ex I suppose, and you are her mate. I mean…”  
“I get it.” I sighed. “I was going to talk to her about it, but we ran into her before I had a chance! So really this is her fault.”  
Dave raised an eyebrow. “It’s just bad luck. She’ll forgive you if you talk to her.”  
“I suppose.”   
“Good girl.” Dave said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. “Let’s worry about that later. We only have six and a half hours to snog.”

..  
1:45   
Oh God…Oh God oh God oh God!  
I have just done something I have never done before.  
And it was by accident.  
I am so ashamed.  
I can’t even talk about it.  
So don’t make me.

1:46  
Okay, since you insist…  
Dave and I were snogging, (bit of 4, 5 and 6) and I had my hands on his waist.   
I wanted to move them up to his hair, and I hovered for a moment, unsure if I should or not.  
And then he moved a little, and his trousersnake was thrust into my hand.  
Was it me, or was it poking out a little?  
We stopped kissing and he looked at me, a little embarrassed himself.  
“Steady on, you cheeky fraulein.” 

1:50  
Recovered from the trousersnake incident.  
We were just lying on his bed, his arms around me, staring at the ceiling.  
“Georgia?” He said.  
I looked at him.  
“I know you didn’t mean to erm…touch…well, you know, THAT. But…”   
“Dave, I’ve said I’m sorry. It was an accident.”  
“I know.” He said, “But…Maybe next time, it shouldn’t be?”   
I frowned. “What?”  
“We could…If you wanted to. I mean…”  
“You mean number 9?”  
“Well yeah. If you want. No pressure.”  
I looked at Dave. “Dave…What’s the furthest you’ve ever gone with a girl?”  
“Oh. Erm…” He swallowed.  
“It doesn’t matter if it was number 10. I won’t say anything.” I told him. “I mean it’ll feel a little weird because I know you’ll have done it with somebody else, but…”  
“No, not number 10. More like accidental number 9.” He said, blushing.  
“Oh?”  
“Just now.”  
“Oh!”  
I blinked. “So…I’m the girl you’ve gone the furthest with?”  
Dave nodded. “But don’t tell the lads. They don’t know. They don’t need to know.”  
I narrowed my eyes and peered closely at him. “You’ve told them you’ve got to number 10 haven’t you?”  
“No. I haven’t told them anything.”   
“Don’t you share these sorts of things with your mates?”   
“Not really. Unless one of us actually gets to number 10.” He said. “Like Ro…” He cut himself off.  
I looked at him.  
“Robbie did the nuddy dance with Wet Lindsay!?”   
“No! No, he did it with a girl in Kiwi-agogo-land!” Dave said. “He didn’t sound too chuffed about it either.”  
“I don’t think anyone would be chuffed about getting to number 10 with a marsupial.” I muttered.  
Dave laughed, and a short silence fell over us.  
“So…How about it Kittykat?” Dave said softly, gazing at me. “Will you be the one who takes my Unschuld heute Abend?”   
I laughed in what I hoped was an attractive way, sucking in my nostrils so that my nose looked relatively normal.

..

In Dave’s bathroom  
Have taken my emergency supplies with me in my bra pouch.  
Topping up my mascara, concealer and lippy.  
I’ve also slipped in one of those teeny sample sized bottles of perfume you get in magazines, and put some on my wrists and neck.  
I’ve been to the piddly diddly department already, but I need to freshen up.  
Oh god, what if I smell down there?!  
I spot a can of women’s deodorant and pick it up, spraying it where needed.  
Surely Dave’s mum won’t miss a teeny bit of her deodorant?  
I try my breath.  
It’s fine, but just to be on the safe side, I pick up the bottle of Listerine and pour a little into the cap, before swilling it around my mouth.   
The mint taste is so strong, I had to spit it back out again.   
Shuddering, I put it back.  
That would have to do.  
I stepped out of the bathroom, and almost collided with Dave.  
“I came to see if you were alright. You were ages.” He smiled.  
“I’m fine.” I said as casually as I could. “I’m as fine as two fine things in a fine place…”  
Shut up brain!  
“Er…Georgia? We don’t have to do this you know.” Dave said gently. “I can wait. If you’re too nervous, we can do it another time.”  
“No, I want to.” I said quietly.   
Dave smiled shyly and took my hand, leading me back to his room and closing the door.  
We sat on his bed nervously and he kissed me full on the lips, pulling me closer.  
He pulled back.  
“Have you been at my Listerine?”   
“Oh, erm…”  
He shook his head and laughed softly, kissing me again.  
I was melting!  
His lips are so soft and gorgey.   
And he smells AMAZING!  
He’s a brilliant kisser…Firm but gentle.  
And then I felt his hands slip gingerly upwards, under my top, pulling it off from the bottom.  
He leaned against me a little and we both fell onto the bed.  
Dave grunted and looked down.  
“Gee. Why is one of your nungas bigger than the other?” He frowned. “And why is it…Hard?”  
“Oh God.” I groaned, fishing out my pouch. “It’s this pouch thing, see? I keep emergency makeup supplies in it.”  
Dave looked at me like a looking thing.  
“You are sensationally weird.” He sighed. “But I still love you.”  
And he moved in to kiss me.  
But I leaned back. “What did you say?”  
“What?” Dave looked confused for a moment, until he realised what he had said. “Uh…Erm…”  
“Dave…Is that true?”  
“Well, yes.” He blushed, looking down. “It’s true.”  
And suddenly everything made sense…  
Why he’d always seemed so sad when I was with another boy, why we kept snogging at random times, the cryptic way he spoke about ‘me and him’…  
Did I love him back?  
I’d always felt sad when he had a girlfriend, too, if I was completely honest. I’d always think about him at inappropriate times, and I did enjoy snogging him. A lot more than I did with anyone else.  
And his smile, his eyes, the way he dressed…  
“What are you thinking, Kittykat?” He murmured, pressing his forehead to mine.  
I looked into his eyes and swallowed, looking down again.  
I felt almost shy.  
“I think…I mean, I do…love you too.” I whispered.  
Dave seemed to sigh with relief and pulled me into a tight hug.  
And I had meant it.  
Relief left my mind, and I felt my eyes sting a bit.  
I sniffed and stood up quickly.  
“I’ll erm…I just need to go to the bathroom.” I croaked, turning around.  
“No Gee, wait!” Dave grabbed my arm. “Please don’t run away from this. Can we talk about it?”  
“What do we need to talk about?” I asked, “We said ‘I love you’. I thought that was self-explanatory?”  
“Yes, but…There are things we need to talk about.” Dave said.  
“Like what?”  
“Like…are you sure it’s love? Do you really love me?”  
“All evidence points to yes.” I said quietly. “I can be myself around you, I’ve always liked snogging you and made no effort to stop it, I’ve thought about you at inappropriate times. I’ve been sad and jealous every time you got a girlfriend, especially Ellen…” Then I remembered… “Oh bloody hell, Ellen!”  
“You will talk to her won’t you?” Dave asked, “She’s our mate, and I wouldn’t want to do anything that would upset her.”  
I nodded.  
We stayed silent for a few moments, and looked at each other.  
In an instant, we had lunged at each other and were kissing, backing to his bed and falling back onto it again.  
I realised then that I was still in my bra!  
Apparently Dave noticed it too, and reached his hands round the back, undoing the clasp as I pulled my arms through the straps.  
Dave’s eyes almost popped out. “Blimey!”  
I folded my arms self-consciously.  
“No, no…They’re good. I mean huge. I mean…Wow!” He grinned. “You have exceptionally nice nungas!”  
I snorted a little, covering my mouth.  
“I hope I can measure up.” Dave said nervously, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them off.  
My eyes widened and I swallowed.   
Dave’s trousersnake addenda was…UP!  
And it was not small!  
“Christ!” I exclaimed, unable to stop myself.  
Dave looked up.  
“What?”  
“You’re very erm…Gifted.”  
“I am?!” He looked down. “I never thought so.”  
I took off my skinnies and placed them on the floor.   
Dave had taken off his shirt and was leaning down over me, giving me a bit of number 5 and 6.  
I felt his trousersnake addenda against me and got a bit jelloid in the knicker department.  
“Do you have anything?” I asked.  
Dave looked at me a little offended.  
“Yes, can’t you feel it?!”   
“No! I meant…You know, protection.”  
“Oh. Er…”  
He stood up and hurried out of his room, coming back a minute later with a little foil square, closing his door again.  
“The fact I was able to find one of these in my Mum’s drawer is both lucky and also a little disturbing.” He frowned, climbing back onto the bed.  
He took his boxers off and there he was in all his glory.  
He tore open the foil packaging and took out the condom, rolling it down over his manly parts.  
I swallowed hard.  
“Now, are you sure you want to do this?” Dave asked.   
“Yes. Aren’t you then?” I responded.  
“Oh believe me; I’ve wanted this with you for so long.” He smiled.  
I smiled back, pushing away the fear I felt as I slowly stripped to the nuddy pants.


	4. 4

3:00  
Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!   
We lay back on Dave’s bed, trying to catch our breath.  
I felt him wrap his arms around me as he lightly kissed my cheek and neck.  
“Are you OK, Kittykat?” He asked softly.  
“Hnng.”  
What fresh hell was that?! Oh good, I had turned into Nellie the Nonsense-talker.  
Dave blushed a little and smiled. “Should I take that as a yes?”  
I nodded, speechless.  
I felt him let out a warm breath onto my neck.   
Melty melt.  
“Was that…I mean did I do it right? Was it er…?” Dave cleared his throat.  
And then without thinking, I blurted out: “That was bloody marvy and a half.”  
I immediately clamped a hand to my mouth, realising what I’d just said, but Dave chuckled.  
“Thank God for that!” He grinned, sighing with relief. “And I’ll tell you this for free: you are quite literally a Sex Kitty!”  
He rolled on top of me and we did a bit of number 5 and 6, before he stood up, covering himself with the blanket draped over the back of his chair.  
“I’ll be back in a minute.” He said softly, backing out of his room with his clothes.  
I had to tell someone!  
Dave had to have a phone somewhere…Ah yes, on his desk!  
I threw my underwear back on and got up to grab the phone.

A minute later  
“Hello?”  
“Jas it’s me.”  
“Hi Gee! Guess what? Tom and I went for a walk in the park, and we found a rare species of bird on a branch! Luckily enough, I took a picture on that nice camera my parents got me for Christmas and…”  
“Dave and I got to number 10.” I blurted out.  
Silence.  
“Jas?” I asked.  
“You and Dave the Laugh got to… number 10?” She asked.  
“Yes.”  
“As in…You know…’it’?”  
“Yes Jas.”  
That even made her excited.   
“Oh wow! Oh wowee wow!” She exclaimed. “So how was it?”  
“Pardon me!?”  
“How was it? Was he good?” Jas asked.  
“Jas, if I may say so, that question is very un-Jas-like of you!” I answered.  
“You know you want to tell me anyway.”  
Damn her.  
I did.  
“It was sooo fabby!” I told her, “He started out all gentle because he didn’t want to hurt me, and then we got into it and…We sort of just melted into one.”  
“Oooh wow!” I heard Jas swoon on the other end of the phone.  
“And right in the middle, he looked me right in the eyes and said ‘I love you Georgia’ and kissed me!” I finished.  
I heard Jas gasp.  
“He said what?!”  
“He said he loved me!”  
“I am sooo happy for you Gee!” I heard her give a little squeal. “Did you say it back?”  
“Yes. But I already said it back to him before that anyway…”  
“So you already said you love each other before you got to number 10?!” Jas asked.  
“Yes. But you cannot tell anyone about this! I know sometimes you hear the call of the airwaves and get into Radio Jas mode, so…”  
“Gee, I promise I won’t tell anyone.”   
“Swear on your owls.”  
“My…What?”  
“Swear on your owl collection that you won’t tell anyone. Not even Hunky.” I repeated.  
“I, uh…I swear on my owls that I won’t tell anyone. Even Hunky.” Jas promised. “Um, Gee…One thing…”  
“Yes?”  
“You’re not talking to me in the nuddy pants are you?”  
I hung up.

A minute later  
Dressed.  
Dave was being a long time…Hmmm.  
I walked out of his room and to the bathroom door.  
I cleared my throat.  
“Uh…Dave?” I spoke through the door.  
The door opened, and I pushed it open a little more before walking inside.  
Dave was stood in just his boxers at the mirror.  
“I was just wondering if everything was alright?” I asked meekly. “You’d been a while, so…”  
“Everything’s fine.” He replied. “I was just um…”  
I looked at him.  
“Look Georgia. I…Well…That was a big deal for me. You know how I feel about you, and how I’ve always felt about you. And I know you said that you love me too, but I need to know that you meant it.” He said, taking both my hands and looking me in the eyes.  
It was only as I was looking up into his eyes that I realised how much he’d grown since I first went out with him.  
He was now taller than me, and kept getting better-looking every time I saw him.  
Now that I thought about it, he was actually a lot better looking than the Sex God or the Italian Stallion.   
And I could be myself with him, and he always made me feel good about myself.  
So much so, that I didn’t feel like I had to bother with my looks for him.  
And that’s when I realised…  
“I love you Dave.” I blurted, “I think I always have.”  
He visibly relaxed and pulled me closer into an amazing bit of number 6.  
Before I knew it, he’d backed me up against the wall and we were getting to number 7!  
He stopped for a moment and looked me in the eyes.  
“Do I have your permission for round two, you cheeky minx?”   
I laughed and nodded, and Dave picked me up, carrying me back out and into his room.

 

Monday  
8:30  
Practically skipped all the way to Jas’s house.  
She was sitting on her wall when I got there, and I gave her a spontaneous hug.  
She grinned at me like a grinning thing.  
“You’re in a good mood. I wonder why that is?” She said knowingly.  
I nudged her in the ribs.  
In a loving best-matey way.  
We hurried to Stalag 14, and because I was in such a great mood, I even let her waffle on about Hunky and great crusted newts and cuckoo spit or whatever.  
When we got to the gates, there were two girls there wearing a different uniform to ours, talking to one of the chavvy girls in sixth form and smoking fags.  
Why did they look familiar?  
Before I could wrack my brains, they turned around.  
“Oh God.” Jas exclaimed. “It’s the Bummers!”  
“Oh look who it is. The grass herself.” Jackie Bummer gave me this really sinister grin as she flicked her half-smoked cigarette on the floor and walked over with Alison in tow.  
“Long time no see, Nicolson!” Alison sneered.  
I straightened up and looked them in the eye.  
Jas stood beside me loyally and linked arms with me.  
“Lovely to see you. But if you don’t mind, I have to get to Stalag 14. Six hours of torture await.” I said bravely, and tried to sidestep them, but Jackie moved to stand in front of me.  
“You have a few minutes of torture to ensure before that. Stalag 14 is the least of your worries.” She said.  
The Bummer twins closed in on me and Jas.  
“Clear off Fringey. It’s Big Nose that our problem’s with.” Alison said, shoving Jas backwards.  
Something inside me snapped and I felt the need to stick up for my best pally.  
I shoved Alison back really hard, and she fell over.  
At that point, the Hitler Youth approached, led by the Octopussy one herself.  
“You two, get away from these gates this instant! You’re a total disgrace.” She snarled.  
“We just wanted a little chat with the grass!” They nodded at me, and Wet Lindsay looked at me.  
Oh great, here we go.  
She’d probably let them, since she has it in for me so much.  
But she didn’t.  
She walked right up to them, a vein in her forehead popping out.  
Tee-hee!  
“I told you to get away from these gates. You’re not allowed anywhere near this school ever again, do you hear me?”   
And the Bummers actually started backing off!  
Hahahaha!  
They took one last look at me, before sloping off back down the hill.  
Jas and I tried to slip past her into the gates.  
“Nicolson!”   
Oh God, what now?  
I turned to face her.  
Here comes the bad conduct mark or the detention…  
“When they mentioned you being a grass…Was it you that told Miss Heaton that they framed Pamela Green for shoplifting that time?” Lindsay asked.  
Before I could answer, Jas spoke up.  
“Yes it was. Well I mean…We all went with her, but it was really Georgia who told her.”  
Lindsay blinked at me.  
“Hmm. You know…I may just be changing my opinion of you.” She said.  
I looked at her in disbelief as my mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.  
“And I hear you’re dating Dave the Laugh now? So…We don’t really have a problem anymore.”  
“Uh…I suppose not.” I managed to stutter.  
And that’s the first time I ever saw Wet Lindsay genuinely smile at me.  
“Good…Great. Well, try to behave yourself, yeah?” And she actually patted me on the shoulder and walked back through the gates with Astonishingly Dim Monica and the rest of the Hitler Youth.  
Jas and I looked at each other in amazement.  
“Sacre bloody bleu!” I breathed. “This is turning into the best week I’ve ever had.”  
“Oh, that reminds me! You need to talk to Ellen about you and Dave…You know?” Jas piped up.  
Oh bugger it.


	5. 5

**Blodge**

Ellen had the full humpty dumpty with me.

She was ignorez-vousing me to the max. How childish.

I wrote her a note, and she opened it:

_Ellen, I’m so so so and thrice so sorry._

_I meant to tell you sooner but I hadn’t seen you and I thought it would be better to say it to your face._

_But yes, Dave is my boyfriend. And we’ve already said we love each other…We always have._

_Pleeeeease forgive me my little pally._

_Georgia x_

There. I had pleaded.

Ellen looked up at me and kept looking at me like a seeing-eye dog.

I felt a bit uncomfortable, so I pretended to be “interested” in what Miss Wilson was saying.

“…Now girls, your exams start next week so make sure that you revise properly!”

She was handing round booklets of everything we needed to revise for blodge, and Nauseating P. Green was handing out paper.

Ellen took this opportunity to talk to me.

“Georgia.”

“Yes?”

“Is it true? I mean…Do you…And he…Are you um…Love?”

I nodded quietly and swallowed.

Ellen blinked at me. “I sort of guessed.” She sighed eventually.

“What?” I asked.

Ellen shifted closer. “I always knew there was something between you and Dave the Laugh. The way you’d speak about him and act around him and stuff. To be fair, he was YOUR boyfriend first, even if you did use him as a red herring and callously dump him for Robbie that time…”

Oh God, she was turning into Jas!

“But…” She continued, “I always knew he liked you too.”

That got my attention. “Really?!”

“He’d always talk about you. He’d always flirt with you…I don’t think he ever got over you.” Ellen admitted. “Besides, we went out over a year ago, and I’m with Declan now. We’re doing really well and he makes me happy…”

“So…You don’t mind?”

“No.” Ellen answered. “You love each other. You make…Well, you know…You seem um…You suit better than me and him did.”

I grinned and spontaneously hugged her.

This is when Slim walked into the classroom.

“Georgia Nicolson! Put Ellen down this minute!”

Everyone stared at us.

Oh wonderful. Now they’ll think I’m a lesbian.

 

 

**Break**

Wet Lindsay approached us as we were lazing around on the wall, munching our Wotsits.

“Nic…Uh… _Georgia_. Can I speak to you for a second?” She asked.

I blinked and got up, following her round the corner.

“Have you heard from Robbie?” She asked.

This is when it occurred to me that I hadn’t.

Still, what did I care?

I shook my head. “I haven’t heard from him in a while. Sorry.”

She looked upset. “Oh. Okay…Well, he broke up with me. I was going to try and get him back, but he doesn’t seem interested, and Masimo has moved to London. I mean…How did you do it?”

“Do what?” I frowned.

“How did you get them interested in you?”

A-ha! The student becomes the teacher!

Well, the year 11 becomes the sixth former…Oh shut up brain.

I patted Lindsay’s shoulder. “Ah W…Um, Lindsay…It really is very simple. Allow me to teach you the ways of the Sex Kitty!”

**German**

Jas was looking at me like a looking thing.

“What? What?” I asked.

“You told Wet Lindsay our tricks to get boys!” Jas said.

“Yes, so?”

“You told her to be funny.”

“Exactomondo, my little pally.”

“But boys don’t like girls for funniness.”

“Oh Jas,” I said, shaking my head, “Both Masimo and Robbie admired my weirdness and humourosity. Boys don’t like it when girls are uptight…Except for Hunky.”

“Hunky does not think I’m uptight!” Jas scoffed, “We have a lot of fun!”

“Oo er!” Rosie piped up, and I snorted.

Jas glared at us. “Tom and I have our own kind of fun…We have lots in common and we like to do those things together.”

“Until he buggers off to Hamburger-agogo-land.”

“Well actually, he’s changed his mind about that!” Jas announced.

We all stared at her.

“Since when?” Jools frowned.

“Since yesterday.” Jas answered. “As you know, I’ve been giving him the cold shoulderosity and elastic band treatment. Turns out it worked! Tom said that he doesn’t ever want to be apart from me and he’s applying to the same college as me.”

“Crikey O Reilly!” Rosie said. “Sven is in his last year of college, so we don’t need to worry about that. Georgia, do you reckon Dave will go to the same college as you?”

All eyes were on me.

“Um…I don’t know.” I confessed, “We haven’t spoken about it. I’m not even sure what I want to do.”

“Don’t you want to be a backing dancer?” Mabs piped up.

“That was when I was with the Lurve God…Now I’m not sure. I think I need a proper job. I don’t want to end up like my Uncle Eddie!” I said.

Once again, our lesson was interrupted by Slim.

“Sorry to disturb you, Herr Kamyer. Girls, there is an impromptu assembly for all of Year 11 right this minute. Please make your way to the main hall.”

 

**Hall**

Slim stood at the front of the hall, and addressed us all;

“Right girls, as you know, after your GCSE exams are finished at the end of term on the 29th of June, we’ll be having a prom. Also…We have decided that you will be allowed to ask boys from other schools to the prom as your partners, but you will need to purchase two tickets at £5 each. It will be held in this very hall, and Sixth Form are in charge of decorating. Details will be given out to you to take home to your parents this week.”

We all started chatting excitedly amongst ourselves.

“I’m going to ask Tom!” Jas grinned, “And wear a gold coloured floor length dress!”

“I’m going to ask Declan. Do you think I should? Or something…Er…What color should…?” Ellen dithered.

Rosie, of course, had whipped out her bison horns. “I’m going to wear these! Where could I find a Viking dress?”

We all looked at her.

“Soo...Georgia, are you asking Dave?” Jas asked quickly.

“Definitely!” I replied, “But I’m…I…”

“What’s wrong?” She frowned, putting her arm around me as we all filed out of the hall.

“I…Is it bad that I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet?” I asked.

“Of course not, Gee!” Jas said, “Some people take until their forties to figure out what to do.”

“Oh God.”

“Why are you worried anyway?”

I felt funny… “I just am. I mean, our exams start next week, I haven’t even applied to a college…”

I hurried on ahead to class, leaving the Ace Gang frowning after me.

 

**Home time**

Madame Slack seemed shocked to see me actually listening in our last class of the day, and finishing my work before anyone else.

As I handed it in, she looked concerned.

“Are you alright, Georgia?”

 

**Two minutes later**

As I walked through the gate alone, I was having a read of my English textbook, and collided with someone.

“Oh, sorry, I…”

“Hi Sex Kitty.” Dave said softly.

I looked up at him and turned pink as he smiled at me.

I smiled back and leaned up to kiss him.

He put his arm around my waist and walked home with me.

“You okay Kittykat?” He asked, “You seem unnaturally quiet.”

“I’m fine. You?”

Dave stopped in front of me and looked at me.

“You’re not okay. Come on gorgeous…” He took my hand and led me to the park, and we ducked down behind the bushes and sat on the grass.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking me in the eyes.

“Do…” I swallowed, “Do you know what you want to do with your life?” I asked.

Dave blinked. “Yeah, I want to move out, get married to you and…”

“No I mean career-wise.” I interrupted. “Is it too late?”

“It’s never too late.” Dave answered, pushing the hair out of my eyes. “And the answer is; no I don’t know what I want to do, career-wise. I don’t even know what I want to do at college yet.”

“Do you think it’s because we both spend so much time being silly…?” I whispered.

There was a small pause.

“No.” He replied, “But do you want to know why I’m silly?”

I nodded.

“Because we’re teenagers.” He said, “We’re still young, and it needs to be out of our systems before we do anything too serious. There’s so much pressure on us young people to rush into deciding what we want to do with the remaining 50 or so years of our lives. I can’t take life seriously yet, Gee. And I think you’re the same. We’re forced to grow up too fast. There’s only one serious thing I’m ready for…”

“Oh?”

“You.” He said, resting his forehead on mine.

Oh god, I had gone all jelloid in the knicker department.

“I love you Georgia. That’s all I know.” He said, looking me right in the eyes.

He had really lovely eyes. And face…And lips…And everything!

“I love you too Dave.” I managed to squeak out.

And then he kissed me; a soft and gentle kiss on the lips.

No nip libbling, no tongues, just a really lovely soft kiss that made my entire body go jelloid and I felt like I was melting into him.

His hands were wrapped around me, stroking my back, and then they were stroking my hair.

We must have been snogging for ages, because when I looked at my watch, it was 6:00.

“Oh god! I have to get home. I have revision to do.”

“Revision? Really?”

I felt a bit offended. “Yeah…I’ve decided that I need to really do well in my exams. I don’t want to be completely unemployable.”

Dave nodded. “Fair enough Kittykat. You’re right…I’m going to do that too. I want you to have a successful husband in the future. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

We held hands as we walked, and I looked at him.

“Husband?”

Dave blushed. “Oh Blimey O Reilly’s undercrackers. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, I…It…I mean…”

“You didn’t.” I smiled. “Actually…There’s something I need to ask you.”

Dave stopped in the street and looked at me. “What’s that, gorgeous?”

 

**Home**

Yes, yes and thrice yessss!

Dave the Laugh is my date to the prom!

 

**A minute later**

And we got up to number 6 at my front door!

 

**In my room**

Eating carbonara whilst I’m doing some Maths revision.

Bloody hell it’s hard.

I’ve put a note on my door so that Libby doesn’t disturb me.

Well…Actually, it’s a drawing of Libby, Angus and cross-eyed Gordy with a line through it.

 

**Three minutes later**

Knock at my door.

Oh for god’s sake, what now?

“I’m a bit busy actually.” I called out, but mum came mumming in anyway.

“What’s that you’re doing?” She asked.

“Maths revision.” I answered.

She looked at me.

She was looking and looking.

I looked at her looking at me.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Mum answered, but her voice was wavering.

Oh god, don’t cry.

She hugged me and I felt her basoomas on my arm.

Erlack!

“I’m so proud of you.” She smiled, stroking my hair. “Here’s a tenner for being such a good girl.”

I blinked in astonishment. “Uh…Thank you?” I said as she placed it on my desk before closing the door and walking out.

Hmm…Good girl?

If only she knew what I’d done with Dave the Laugh at the weekend!

 

 


	6. 6

**Wednesday**

**In English lesson**

Last lesson of the day!

Hawkeye asked me to stay behind.

What fresh hell have I done now?

I finished all my work and actually listened today!

“I’ll wait for you by the gate.” Jas said, leaving me alone in the classroom with Hawkeye.

I wandered over to her desk.

“You wanted to see me, Miss?” I asked.

Hawkeye looked up and looked concerned.

“Is everything alright Georgia?” She asked, “Only your other teachers and I spoke in the staff room today, and the behaviour you’re displaying is very…Odd.”

I blinked. “But I’ve been listening and doing my work.” I frowned.

“That _is_ the odd behaviour.” Hawkeye replied.

Charming!

“Is everything OK Georgia? No problems at home, I hope?”

I shook my head.

“Your love life?”

“No Miss. I’m fine.” I reassured her.

And then, and I don’t know why, I blurted everything out.

“I just don’t know what I want to do with my life and I don’t want it to be too late to find out. I don’t want to be a Baldygram like Uncle Eddie or a useless nitwit like P Green. I haven’t even applied to a college because I just don’t _know_ what I want to do, and I don’t want to have no grades and not be able to do anything!”

Hawkeye stared at me, blinking.

“Georgia…You’re a very bright girl.” She said, “You actually do very well in your lessons when you try. And I’m relieved to see that you’re making the effort now. I have to admit that 15 and 16 is far too young to make drastic life choices. Yes, work hard and try to pass your exams, go to college, and figure it out from there. You’re still young. You have your whole life ahead of you to choose a career path.”

She smiled at me and I smiled back.

Hawkeye isn’t such a bad old bat after all.

“Thanks Miss.” I said, and I spontaneously gave her one of my Jammy Dodgers from the secret stash I had in my rucky, before hurrying out of school.

I could see Jas at the gates with Tom and someone else.

Oh no…

It was Dave!

And I had no makeup on!!

I looked around to see if I could dive behind a tree and do my makeup there, but he’d already seen me.

“Georgia!” He called out. “Scamper over here you cheeky Fraulein! The Vati needs a snog!”

I grinned, letting my nose spread across my face.

Oh no!

Stop it stop it!

Dave didn’t even seem to care, as he pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the lips.

“Hello beautiful.”

Swoon city!

“Aww!” Jas smiled at us, and I gave her a Klingon look.

“Don’t forget that I’m coming over your house today.” Dave said, squeezing my hand as we all walked along.

I had totally forgotten!

“Oh, yes…Er…” I stammered, mentally listing all the coursework I needed to do in my head.

Dave looked at me.

“Oh no…You’re not dumping me again are you?” He sighed.

“No! Nothing like that…I just have a lot of coursework to do. English, French and Maths.” I explained.

“But English and French aren’t due in until next week Gee.” Jas piped up, “And you’re ace at those. It’s just Maths you struggle with. I can help you tomorrow if you want me to come round?”

I spontaneously hugged her in the middle of the street. “Fanks little pally! You know I love you.”

Jas looked a bit awkward, but hugged me back nonetheless.

She linked back up with Tom, and they started discussing something to do with vegetables.

While they were talking, Dave leaned down and whispered in my ear “I can help you with the French. Apparently I’m pretty good at it?”

Something tells me he didn’t mean the language, either!

 

 

**5:30**

In my room.

My “parents” have gone out for the evening and left me another tenner for ‘good behaviour.’

I now had £20 to my name! Resultio!

“Fancy getting a pizza?” I asked Dave, waving the tenner in his face.

He grinned.

“Sounds good to me. Now…About this French…”

He pulled me close to him and I looked up at him, and he looked down at me, right in the eyes.

I could feel myself melting, and he leaned in and gave me the most electrifying kiss on the planet.

Forget jelloid knickers, I had liquid knickers!

(Not like that! Stop it.)

We fell backwards onto the sofa, and did a bit of number 5 and 6.

 

**6:00**

We had kissing for a whole half an hour, when I felt his trousersnake addenda dig into my hip.

“Mmph!” I stopped kissing him and looked down. “Dave, there appears to be a tent in your trousers.”

“I know Kittykat. I can feel it. Maybe we should put it down…” He looked me in the eye and I felt myself puckering.

We snogged a bit more, and then I led him to my room.

_Oh my god! This was the first time I’d have a boy in my room!_

I felt the beginnings of a nervy b.

“Do you want me to close these?” Dave asked as he wandered over to my window and nodded at the curtains.

I nodded and he shut them, then proceeded to shut the door and wander over to where I was sat on my bed.

“Are you sure you want to?” He asked, stroking my cheek.

“Hnngg,” Was all I could manage, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Er…Are you alright?” He asked.

Oh god, I was being all girly and shy.

Stop it!

“I’m fine…I’m as fine as two fine things on a fine day in…er…”

“Fine land?” Dave grinned.

I blushed.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Dave said, “We can do something else.”

“No I want to.” I managed to whisper.

Dave took one look at me and smiled.

He kept on staring at me and I felt liquid knickers again.

He really did have gorgey eyes.

Dave the Laugh leaned in to kiss me softly, cupping my face in his hands.

I heard him moan softly and felt his warm breath on my face.

I slid my arms around his shoulders and neck, and we moved into number 5 again.

When we stopped, he nuzzled his nose against mine.

Oh my god!

I was now just a puddle on the floor, and my lips felt all tingly.

“You’re so beautiful Gee.” He said, stroking my neck. “And you’re finally mine.”

That did it.

I pretty much pounced on him and we got up to number 6, before clothes started coming off.

 

**7:40**

Wow!

Wow wow wowzee wow!

And also wow.

Dave the Laugh is _very_ good at number 10!! That is le fact.

I felt all sweaty though, Erlack!

I was about to get up to have a shower, but Dave pulled me closer to cuddle up to him.

“Not yet, you cheeky minx! The Hornmeister wants a cuddle first.” He grinned, kissing my hair.

“Dave, I am sweaty.” I said, “I need a shower.”

“We could shower together?” He asked.

“You mean…See each other in the nuddy-pants?”

“Georgia, we have had sex three times now. I think we’re getting used to seeing each other in the nuddy-pants.”

The fact that Dave had said it out loud made me realise just how real it was.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was the first in the Ace Gang to get to number 10!

So how come only Radio Jas knew?

I must tell the others as soon as possible.

“Alright, we’ll shower together. But please try not to stare too much.” I said, rolling over to get out of bed.

Before I could, I felt Dave move and he elbowed one of my basoomas, and as I exclaimed in pain, he looked startled.

“Oh god! I’m sorry Sex Kitty, did I hurt your nungas? Should I kiss them better?”

Honestly!

 

 

**8:15**

Ordered pizza.

Dave had just wandered into the kitchen to get a drink, when I heard a meow and Dave jump.

He came back into the living room.

“Er Gee? Why is Angus sitting in the microwave?”

 

**Five minutes later**

Snogging.

Again!

Once we’d stopped, I stood up. “I’m just off to make a call.” I announced.

Dave blinked at me.

“Georgia, there’s a phone right here.”

“Oh so there is. Well, I’ll back in a minute.” I hurried into the dining room to the other phone.

Called Rosie.

“Hello?”

“Rosie, it’s me, Georgia.”

“ _Bon soir_ my _petit_ pal.” She replied,

“I need to tell you something!” I said excitedly, “Jas already knows, but I haven’t told anyone else yet.”

“ _Oui?_ ”

“Dave and I have got to number 10!”

“Non!”

“Oui.”

“Mais non!”

As I was about to says “Mais oui”, I heard Dave speak on the other line.

“Why hello you saucy chicks. It is the Vati!”

Oh crap.

“Is it true Dave the L?” Rosie asked, “Did you and Georgia really do the nuddy dance?”

“Affirmative.” He answered, “Georgia? May I speak to you in private?”

Uh oh.

“Ooh! You are deader than a dead thing in deadland. Bon voyage!” Rosie said, before ending the call.

I sheepishly made my way back into the lounge, where Dave was stood with his arms folded.

“Georgia…”

“Dave.”

“So you told Rosie then?”

I opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish. “Ummm…”

The doorbell rang.

“Saved by the bell!” I grinned, grabbing my tenner and rushing to answer the door.

I came back with the pizza, and Dave was still standing there.

I put the pizza down on the table.

“Dave, look, I…”

“What am I going to do with you, you cheeky cat?” He lunged at me and snogged me to within an inch of my life.

We both laughed.

Ohhh I love him!

I love him I love him I love him!!!


End file.
